On Potty Training, Part 2

Nine months after I wrote this post on potty training, I’m back with an update.

Carlo has been going regularly to poop in the toilet for a while now, but he has not been peeing in it as consistently. And that was largely my fault as I purposely kept him in diapers. The weather here in Canada has been too freaking cold for him to run around the house sans pants/diapers, which was my grand potty training plan. But last Friday, when Carlo told me that he needed a diaper change because he was wet, I decided to have a talk with him about eliminating the diapers completely.

I said that he was now going to wear big boy briefs, not diapers; and that if he needed to pee, he could use the potty just like he did when he pooped. “Yes, Mama” he said. And I saw in his eyes that he got it. That never happened before.

We’ve had a few mishaps over the past couple of days but for the most part, he has been going to pee in the potty now. *fist pump!*

Boy, am I so, so, SOOOOOO glad that I waited to potty train him late. It has been so much easier on me, as I don’t have to wrangle Carlo into the bathroom just to “get him used to sitting on it” (which was my pedia’s advice, hahaha). These days he’s old enough to understand how things work; he’s more independent; and, he’s more eloquent about his needs and feelings.

At the same time, because he’s no longer in diapers, he doesn’t look like a toddler anymore. He totally looks like a boy now. No more waddling while walking because of the poofy diapers and that fact made me a little sad. Gosh, he’s growing up so fast.

Over the weekend our friend Chris’s boy turned 14. And just last week, Tricia’s Lucas turned 10. So as I was watching him drink his milk at breakfast earlier, in my vivid imagination, Carlo morphed from an almost-4 year old to an almost-14 teen in an instant. I’m not ashamed to say that I cried a little.

Dammit, I don’t know how I’m going to handle him going off to preschool if seeing him out of diapers already makes me misty-eyed.

But I digress.

The point of my post is not to give potty training tips or advice. There are a ton of articles and books that do that already. But what I do want you all to know is that it’s perfectly okay to potty train your child later than “normal” and that in my case, I’m actually glad that I did it when Carlo was older.

In fact, I wish I could’ve told the me from a year ago not to stress so much over potty training. Just like I wish I could’ve told the me from over 3 years ago that I didn’t have to worry that Carlo was not yet sleeping through the night. Sigh.

I wish that I didn’t get so bothered with what every one else was doing with their kids because Carlo is his own unique person and I’m also not like other parents. But that’s the thing, I do get affected by what’s supposed to be “the norm” and when my child doesn’t somehow conform to the standard, I begin to stress. When did the “standard”, the norm for people in the U.S., become the norm for everyone to follow anyway? So this post is mainly a note to myself:

  • I have to do what is right for my child and for myself.
  • It’s okay to be different from the “norm”. I am a Filipino-Chinese living in Canada. I was raised differently and I want my child to grow up with the values that are important to my heritage and culture.
  • It’s okay to be a late bloomer. In fact, sometimes it is even better to be a late bloomer.
  • Do not stress over what everyone else is doing here in North America. It is not the standard. Nor is it necessarily the correct “norm” for you or your child to follow/emulate.

Here’s to a great new month for us all! I can’t believe that almost half of 2015 is over!


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