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I Am Where I Need To Be

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When I quit my job, we were about to enter the holiday season so days were filled with Thanksgiving, Christmas shopping, charity activities for Yolanda, and more parties. The beginning of 2014 found me without a cook, then without a driver, so my days were busy cooking for the family and chauffeuring my kids to school and back or from one activity to another.

Now that my domestic household issues have settled down, my life has also slowed down. I am getting used to a nice and steady schedule of waking up late, going to a morning yoga class, having lunch with Paulina and staying home in the afternoon with her doing her activities (coloring, ballet classes, playing in the park) while waiting for my boys to come home. In between, I have time for crochet, knitting, cooking, a little baking and reading. This is pretty much my daily schedule and I keep asking myself, “Is this it? Is this how my life will be from now on?”

In my previous life, I was used to multi-tasking, solving problems, pushing myself, being in stressful situations that had my heart rate going at 150bpm or feeling an adrenaline rush every so often. My heart rate hardly goes up now, there’s no pressure and I constantly feel like I’m floating on a cloud going from one activity to the other. I’m in a relaxed, blissful state, the feeling you have after a massage or a yoga class.

It’s a wonderful feeling but as a result, I ended up feeling lost, and I wondered if I was doing something wrong. Was it okay for me to feel this way when in the past I COULD DO SO MUCH MORE? Was I selling myself short? I even contemplated going back to the workforce because I knew I could do so much more. I could be that superwoman again, the one who could balance the roles of Career Woman, Mother, and Wife.

But I knew something would give, and that would probably be the role I valued most – my role as a Mother. Then I read something from HandsFreeMama.com which resonated with me.

Who you are now is more important than who you were then.

And that’s where all the questions of where I should be ended. Because it’s true.


 

I am a happier and more fulfilled person today than I was before.

I am in a place where I need to be now.

I am able to spend more time with my daughter and watch her grow up.

I am enjoying singing songs, dancing with her and watching Frozen every day.

I am at home when my sons get home from school.

I am there for them when they need me.

I have more time to be fully present in my sons’ lives.

I am more accessible to my husband.

I am learning how to cook and bake.

I am rediscovering myself and my passion for arts and crafts.

I am enjoying knitting and crocheting.

I enjoy my painting classes.

I am becoming a yogi.


I don’t feel lost anymore knowing I like the person I am today. I don’t need to over extend myself if I don’t need to. I enjoy being a mother to my children, being there for them when they need me. I’m enjoying myself, learning new things and re-discovering myself.

So what if my life is not as fast paced and hectic as before? It’s really okay because my children like the person I am and that I’m there for them and they are the ones whose opinion matters the most.

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Comments

  1. Hi Trish

    Great and timely post. I myself am feeling a bit lost having moved from my previous hectic, rewarding and busy work life to a more “balanced” and “relatively slow, some say boring” endeavor these days. In the end, it’s the choice we decided to make. As Treena always tells me, “may kapalit”. I’m sure the adrenaline, $, and stress that we’ve all been craving for and have “let go” are for the good of our selves and families over the longer term…

    Charlie

    • Hi Charlie,
      Yes, it’s the choice we make. At the end of the day, we just need to have trust, faith and believe everything will work out because I am sure it will.

  2. Hi Trish! I’m very proud of the decision that you’ve made, and the decisions that have led to where you are now. It’s OK to take a breather, to not be in a fast-paced environment to feel fulfilled. You’re right, if you and your loved ones are happy, and you see how your decisions have positively affected them, then you know you’re in a good place.

    “You are where you need to be,” is a good reminder that sometimes, it’s not about the rat race or deadlines, but savoring life. Hugs!!

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